Aligning To Your Vision of Love

So now that you know what you want, the question is, are you a match? How do you align to your vision of love with your thoughts, words and actions? What kind of energy are you putting out?

These are some big questions that lead to equally big answers. What we focus on, and what we feed grows. So we want to make sure that we’re feeding what we do want, once again, with our thoughts, words and actions.

Let’s begin with your THOUGHTS:

Did you know you have anywhere from 50,000 – 70,000 thoughts per day? This translates to a whopping 35 to 48 thoughts per minute.

Of those tens of thousands of thoughts per day, it’s said that 98% are the exact same as the previous day and 70-80% of those thoughts are negative.

Now let’s take this a step further, to understand that the thoughts you continue to repeat become your beliefs. That’s right, your repeated thoughts = your beliefs; and your beliefs are incredibly powerful. They shape your confidence, your expectations and the filter through which you see people and situations.

These beliefs feel like truths, but they’re actually the number one barrier or enabler to creating the love you desire.

You must absolutely let go of your old story about why you can’t have a great love in your life, and start embracing that you are lovable, worthy and deserving of extraordinary love. You must challenge these old, negative stories.

There are two kinds of beliefs:
  1. Limiting beliefs: Beliefs that keep you stuck and unable to move forward. They make you feel tight and constricted and they keep you walking away from your vision.
  2. Empowering beliefs: Beliefs that strip you of limitations and give you an expansive and hopeful feeling. These beliefs create momentum in the direction of your vision.

The beliefs that we aren’t aware of have the most impact on us, because they work in the background. So we want to take our spotlights out and uncover the beliefs that aren’t working for us, which I invite you to do using the exercise at the end of this chapter.

Once you start uncovering what your background negative beliefs are, don’t attempt to tackle them one belief at a time. What we know by now, is that what you focus on will grow. A better approach is to build a positive set of beliefs, which will eventually replace the old ones (goodbye & good riddance).

LIMITING BELIEFS VS EMPOWERING BELIEFS
  • I’m not good enough
  • Men are untrustworthy
  • I’ll never meet the love of my life
  • My partner will never change
  • Relationships are challenging
  • I’m worthy of love
  • I know some great men
  • I’m on my way to meeting my love
  • My partner is always growing
  • Relationships are enriching
PRO TIP:

Obviously, it would be impossible to track your beliefs from moment to moment, day to day – hello, 70,000 thoughts! So the trick is to be in tune with how you feel.

If you’re feeling great, at peace, joyful you can bet your bottom dollar that you’re having positive thoughts.

If you’re feeling anxious, worried or anything in the negative feeling family, it’s time to stop and check your thoughts. What are you thinking that’s making you feel this way – and what can you replace that thought with?

Moving onto your WORDS:

What are thoughts made of? WORDS! They are simple, but powerful. They create affirmations which we recreate in our lives.  

If you’re hoping for a positive outcome, but you continue to spew out negative or pessimistic comments, you’re giving off a negative vibe, which will only be attractive to equally negative people or perpetuate the cycle of negativity in your life and relationships.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, your positivity will draw to you people and circumstances who match your energy and your positive words will help to emphasize what you appreciate.

Your words affect how you feel and your feelings act as magnets.

Now let’s take it back to our limiting beliefs and point out their limiting words:
  • I’m not good enough
  • Men are untrustworthy
  • I’ll never meet the love of my life
  • My partner will never change
  • Relationships are challenging
On the flipside, here are the empowering words in those empowering beliefs:
  • I’m worthy of love
  • I know some great men
  • I’m on my way to meeting my love
  • My partner is always growing
  • Relationships are enriching

Unlike thoughts, words are quite a bit easier to catch. Whereas thoughts are often happening on autopilot on a subconscious level, it takes a certain level of consciousness to speak. This is an opportunity to practice aligning your words to the type of relationship you wish to attract or create.

Allow yourself to talk more about where you’re going and less about your problems or where you’ve been.

And once again, use your feelings as a stress test:

Are you feeling good, peaceful? Keep doing what you’re doing.

Are you feeling anxious, worried, guilty? Check the words you’re using.

Finally, let’s look at your ACTIONS

There are some really practical things you can do to start living your vision today – and they all begin with the activities you said you wanted to do in your relationship.

All the things you want to do with your current or future partner, and all the things you want them to do for you, are the things you can and should do, now.

Does your vision include evening strolls together under the sunset? Well, get to walking! With or without someone, you have the power to live your vision now – which will only draw more people, circumstances and places that continue to bring your vision more to life.

The point is to be an energetic match to what you say you want.

If you wrote down that you want to be with someone who’s adventurous, yet you’re going home every night after work, making dinner and binging on Netflix – you’re not an energetic match.

Similarly, if you wrote in your vision that you want to be with someone who’s positive, but you’re spending much of your day stressed and worried – you’re not an energetic match.

Sure, you can meet someone who helps bring out these qualities in you, but if you’re not able to bring them out for yourself, there will be an imbalance in the relationship, and it will suffer.

If you take only one thing from all of this, take this: How you feel is what matters most, because your feelings will draw nearer or further to you the things, people and places that match your energy. Choose thoughts, words and actions that bring you more JOY – this is the way to the conscious love you’re longing for.

If you’re single:

If you’re single, get out there and do those things in your vision on your own, with friends and family. Not only does this allow you to start having what you want today, but it also significantly increases your chances of meeting like-minded people. I promise you, your dream guy or gal isn’t hiding underneath your couch.

If you’re in a relationship:

If you’re in a relationship, start carving out the time to live your vision, today. Be intentional about your time and your days, and make an effort to step away from routine. Beware, that this doesn’t mean your partner has to do everything single thing that you’ve envisioned – you can do much of it on your own. Some activities can be done with your love, some on your own and some with family and friends.