Committing To Consciousness & Alignment

It’s no surprise that I would put an emphasis on consciousness – this is of course the predominant message of The Conscious Love Blueprint.

Your commitment to consciousness is the greatest thing you can do for yourself and your partner at every stage – from early dating, to a full-blown relationship and marriage. There’s truly truly nothing greater you could do!

Circling back to the beginning of the blueprint, consciousness is defined as the state of being awake and aware of one’s surroundings. But you and I both know, it’s so much more than that.

A conscious relationship is achieved when you can stay grounded, connected to yourself and the present moment, without projecting your past or future worries onto your relationship. This alone keeps you “seeing” both your partner and the relationship through clear, unjaded lenses.

One of the greatest tools I discovered for keeping my cool in my relationship is to really “see” my husband. When we first started dating, there were times when I was tempted to project my insecurities onto him; I would at times “leave” the relationship and go into my head, asking questions like where is this going? Does he have the same intentions as me? Is this thing real? Then I would take a conscious breath, look him in the eyes and see the honest, humble and good man that he is, and all my insecurities would fade. My consciousness, or awareness, allowed me to trust in him, and more importantly, myself and my choices.

Even though I have a pretty great handle on this whole concept of conscious love, I do at times fall prey to my humanness; so this tool of “seeing” my love still comes in (very) handy even now that we’re married.

There are times I feel like getting angry just because I’m tired or anxious about all my “to-dos”. When this happens, I pause, take a moment to look him in the eyes – and once again, see the sweet, kind & loving man who has the best intentions. This brief pause makes me reconsider temporarily pushing my sanity aside, and allows me to tap into the love I feel for him instead.

You know that moment when something is said that scratches one of your wounds, and you can literally see yourself tipping over to your usual reaction of anger or defensiveness? That split second when you see yourself about to tip one way or the other, that is a moment of conscious awareness.

This moment of conscious awareness allows you to be the chooser. Instead of lashing out and saying something that escalates a comment into a fight, you can pause, breathe, and choose your words mindfully. Awareness allows you to be the chooser of your reactions, your patterns, your life.

It also allows you to witness and experience your life in real-time, as opposed to being an unconscious reactor and living through the stories you make up in your mind. When you live more fully in the present moment, you experience the true essence of the people around you, as opposed to the unconscious, insecure stories you fabricate about them.

With this approach, if there’s something you need to see clearly, good or bad, you will see it.

How to raise your conscious awareness:

#1: Meditate Regularly

Why is meditation so important? It calms your mind, which allows you to slow down your thoughts and create space for a calmer more intuitive voice to speak up. The “practice” of meditation is just that, a practice. And so slipping into mindless thinking is all part of the journey! As we practice meditation, we will sooner become aware when we’ve stopped focusing on our breathing and started stressing about the past or future. This is how we build the muscle of awareness through meditation – by noticing when we’ve slipped. As you stay consistent with your practice, you’ll see that you’re able to bring this mindful awareness into your day, through your thoughts and interactions with others.  Conscious awareness gives you the chance to notice patterns and choose differently.

#2: Ask Yourself Questions

What is consciousness without some loving self-reflection? My favourite approach is to write out open ended questions in a journal and allow your answers to flow through. Write out your thoughts until you feel like you have nothing more to say. Not only is this a beautiful tool for connecting with yourself, which in turn allows you to connect with another, it’s also an excellent tool for decision-making. It takes some practice, but writing in a question/answer style will help you dig into your inner workings while increasing your inner peace.

#3: Be Aware of Your Emotions

As we discussed in chapter 2, your emotions serve as a guidance system to let you know how close or far you are from being in your own alignment. So many feel and fall victim to their emotions, as if they can’t possibly have any say in how they want to feel. This is simply not true. Whenever a negative emotion comes up, stop and ask yourself what you were just thinking or saying that made you feel that way. Then ease your way out of that negative thought or statement. Give yourself a softer place to fall.

#4: Be Aware of Your Body

Your body carries so much wisdom. Your emotions are felt in your body. Take time in your day to notice how and what you’re feeling – from an emotional and physical standpoint. Building your conscious awareness is all about taking notice and being present. Do a body scan. Feel into every part of your body from your toes, up your feet, ankles, calves, all the way up to the top of your head. Or at the very least, take a few moments throughout your day to take a few mindful breaths. Remember, it’s all about practice.

#5: Spend Time Alone

To build your awareness muscle, you need to spend time alone. Take a walk, listen to music, write, read, sing, dance, or sit in stillness while sipping on your favourite drink. Be with yourself.

Now let’s be clear – there’s a difference between conscious awareness in a feeling of lack and sadness, and conscious awareness in a feeling of abundance and joy. This is where alignment comes in.

Alignment means nothing more than aligning to the essence of your true SELF – which always feels joyful and at peace. The real Essence of you is never worried or anxious, your greater self steadfastly knows your value and doesn’t deviate. That’s why it feels so crappy when you’re feeling anything other than joy & peace – because in that moment, you’ve put a wedge between the physical “you” (the one that walks, talks and acts) and the spiritual “YOU”.

To be aligned, means to be joyful. From this place, you’ll make decisions that align with your grandest vision.

Here are 20 suggestions for finding your joy: 
  • Thinking nice thoughts about yourself
  • Letting your “mistakes” go more easily
  • Trusting in yourself and backing up your decisions
  • Focusing on what you love about yourself more than what you’d love to change
  • Encouraging yourself the way you would a friend
  • Saying positive things to and about yourself
  • Describing yourself in a positive light
  • Highlighting your strengths
  • Taking time out for rest and relaxation
  • Doing things for the sake of feeling joy
  • Dedicating time to your mind, body and spirit