Letting Love Find You
If you’re single:
Instead of looking for your “soulmate”, stay open to meeting one – and let the larger part of your focus be on nourishing the relationship with your badass self.
I’m not suggesting that you’ll meet someone by staying home reading, meditating and taking hot baths. What I’m saying is that looking and being open, are two very different energies – the first one has a lack vibration that keeps this person lacking in your life. It also makes you a little too hungry and ripe for desperate measures.
The idea is to feel great on your own, satisfied with where you are now and eager for more. Not only does this make you extremely attractive and keep your vibration in the right place, it also makes you more magnetic to people just like you. So instead of looking for that special someone, be open to meeting them. It’s about getting to the place where you want and don’t need a relationship.
So, how do you get there?
Do things that bring you joy, simply because they make you happy.
When you’re living your life to the fullest and if companionship is important to you, then this will definitely include some degree of going out and “doing” things. Dancing, coffee-shop hopping, yoga – whatever your jam is. Even online dating! My only rule of thumb is to check the energy you’re bringing to that activity – let it be from a place of having fun and once again, not “searching”.
I remember a time when I was looking for a boyfriend. It was like the harder I looked, the less I could see him. It felt like a never ending (and cruel) game of hide and seek.
When I let go of finding him and focused instead on being my awesome self (not solitary or fiercely independent, but happy and positive), it didn’t only rain men, it poured em. I wasn’t hungry, I was full with my love and so I was the chooser.
If you can wrap your mind around the perspective shift that needs to happen for you to go from looking to being open, it will totally shift the vibe you’re putting out there – which will shift the kind of people you meet and how they react to you.
Remember, looking for your soulmate implies that there’s something out there you can’t see; staying open clears the way for them to come in.
If you’re in a relationship:
This concept of “letting” love into your life applies just as much if you’re in a relationship. Of course, you want to share and give love – the idea is that it’s a flow of giving and receiving and you’re not chasing after someone or asking someone to love you more – you model that to him or her yourself.
You show your partner how you expect to be treated by treating yourself that way, and you bring more love and joy into the relationship by being more loving and more joyous.
This is done in the same way it would be if you were single; you do things that bring you joy simply for the sake of being happy.
Do things on your own, go out with friends and family and engage with your love in a positive way only. If that’s too challenging for you at the moment, then focus on getting your individual happiness and self-satisfaction level up.
When you’re coming from that place, communicating about what you want and need in the relationship will feel entirely different to the both of you, because you’re no longer implying that you need your partner to fill that role – you’re simply expressing what you need. (More on communication in chapter 9)
This is the foundation. Loving yourself, knowing your worth and being love instead of seeking it.
As you make joy and love your prominent vibration, your parter will either need to match up or they will no longer be a match for you.
Say goodbye to desperate tears, begging for what you want and feeling defeated. This is a whole new way of loving.
I’ll see you in part TWO of this guide – The Conscious Relationship.